It's tough. That I won't lie about. In these situations someone has to compromise.

It's me who has to force himself to understand. To force himself to numb all the emotions he has towards it. To mindlessly indoctrinate himself into believing that, maybe, in the end it is okay. And forcing this idea into his head until it becomes okay.

But I guess that's what college does. It forces you to grow up. To challenge you. To change you.

But love is beyond change, beyond challenge, beyond growth.

I guess, things really are changing. You're growing, you aren't the same innocent girl you were at the start. 

Maybe it's time I've started growing up too, and realizing that you aren't the same innocent person you were before. Maybe this is more of a problem that's my entirely my fault. Maybe i'm too stubborn. It's not easy. It still tortures me to even imagine you doing that. And i don't even know why and THAT kills me even more. Be understanding. I have feelings too.

But that's life and love. It kicks you down and helps you up. It tears you apart and puts the pieces back together.

It's time for a serious reality check.

I just need time to think.