Pictures, Lyrics, Emotions

This feels like our first relationship.

This feels like the times you used to completely shun me for weekends at a time, with no explanation or reason to give me. No matter how much I'd ask to speak to you, you wouldn't. I remember, when we broke up, and I looked back at that. I remember feeling like I was nothing. I wasn't worth a single word, or text, or acknowledgement.

It used to kill me inside. Slowly I watched while you grew more and more distant from me. It honestly kills me to know how similar our situation now is to our past relationship.

And I couldn't do anything about it. I felt worthless because you would never say anything, no matter how much I tried.

I can't believe i'm stuck here, years later, in the same exact situation. I remember how terrible I used to think you shunning me felt.

Now I'm starting to feel the same way I did before we cut things off.

I never realized how traumatized I must have been from our first relationship. I starting to think it was normal for people to shun their significant other for days and days without any explanation. I started to think it was normal to just accept the fact that maybe you really don't care to speak to me when I was your boyfriend.

There's no other feeling like knowing the other person is trying to push you away. To feel like they don't want anything to do with you anymore.

I promised myself i'd never let myself get treated like that again. I promised I'd take care of myself this time. Why do I feel just as depressed as I did before?

I hate overthinking, but it's all i've been doing this weekend. No matter how badly I tried to talk to you, to get a single response out of you, to get any sign that you cared about me, you would never acknowledge me. All I have is that snapchat of you, that you later deleted, flirting with some dude I don't know. That's it. That's all I got out of you this weekend. A snapchat of you flirting with someone.

Maybe I should start accepting the fact that you're starting to not care about me anymore.

What happened to me. I was on the top of the world. I haven't felt this low in such a long time.